There are many reasons a couple could be experiencing a sexless marriage. Some of the more common include job stress, fatigue, a new baby, depression, medications, sexual, physical, or emotional abuse, and anger. The fact that so many Americans take anti-depressants, which generally lower libido as a side-effect, certainly contributes to many sexless marriages. In many of these cases it's totally understandable that sex may be put on the back burner for a while, and the best gift one person can give to the other is to be understanding and supportive during especially difficult times. I personally have heard from women whose husbands badgered them for sex when they were grieving the loss of a loved one, can hardly think straight from lack of sleep due to caring for a baby, or after being rude and abusive to their wife throughout the day. For some issues mentioned above, The Sex Secret will not help (nor would any book). Therefore, at this point, I want to indentify who the target audience is, and describe how this book will invigorate your sex life.

The latest surveys show the single biggest reason for many sexless marriages is simple boredom. Imagine that, sex being described as boring! Books written by women, for women, with titles such as Okay, So I Don't Have a Headache, I'm Not in the Mood, and I Don't Know How She Does It, are publishing sensations. Margaret Carlson, of Time magazine, has stated, "Sleep is the new sex." On the flip side, some therapists and marriage counselors are adopting the new strategy of "just do it." Recently, two couples have written books, 365 Nights, and Just Do It, which describes this new way of approaching sex (although a good case could be made that the "just do it" philosophy is really the old fashion way of having married sex when women just did it because they knew it was the wifely duty.) In the past year I have seen at least three news articles featuring Evangelical Pastors challenging their congregations to try, for varying lengths, to adopt the "just do it" philosophy by having sex on consecutive days. Not surprisingly, some feminist are claiming the "just do it" philosophy promotes marital rape. If you follow the advice in The Sex Secret, you won't have to resort to a "just do it" philosophy, and you will no longer describe sex as boring. It will be closer to a, "YES! Let's do it!" philosophy.

Obviously, both men and women vary in their individual sex drive. As a general rule, sex is more important to a man. In the book, His Needs, Her Needs, marriage therapist Willard Harley writes that sex is the number one need for men, when it doesn't even show up in the woman's top five. The needs are based on thousands of client interviews that Harley conducted over the years. It goes without saying, however, that some wives have a higher sex drive than their husbands, and to be totally honest I'm not sure if The Sex Secret will help men with low sex drive. Also, it's not going to turn every woman into a sex loving, insatiable sex kitten. Here's my promise on what it will do. At the very least, it will bring a couple back to the level of passion they felt in the early days of the relationship. If in the first few months after you started having sex together, you had sex every day, or even several times a day, or you had sex once a week, after reading The Sex Secret you will most likely return to this level. If, on the other hand, you work hard (and yes, we all know that relationships are hard work), it would not be at all uncommon to surpass even the passion of those early days. In other words, my promise is that The Sex Secret will bring a woman up to her maximum sexual level. What that maximum level is will vary with every woman (and man).